KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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