One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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