i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
