Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
