My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're a waste of cheezeits
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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