I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
