He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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