why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
