I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
