Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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