i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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