My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
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i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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