Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize