i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
