Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
