used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
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I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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