her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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