he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
