my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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