I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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