U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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