Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
