did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Non-Jews are for practice
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
