yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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