She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
