I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
