Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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