I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
