Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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