She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
