they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
