So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
