Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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