so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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