i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
