I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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