Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
