thus making me awesome and them whores
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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