You just made me feel so damn special
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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