For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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