I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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