you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
