Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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