he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
