Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
