I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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