its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
