So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You've changed since you got that strap on
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
