You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
