FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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