My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
