DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
