Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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