youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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