Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
