what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
