can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
