if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
