Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
